


Not Just Blonde

by A Crimson Phoenix (cw151)



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Declarations Of Love, Drug Induced Honesty, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Jealousy, Love Confessions, Pining, Romance, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 06:11:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9165547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cw151/pseuds/A%20Crimson%20Phoenix
Summary: A few weeks after School Reunion, Rose is forced to watch the Doctor flirt with a human woman. Things are not quite what they seem, however, and soon, the evening leads to quite a few confessions when a drug forces the Doctor to lose his emotional control.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a plot bunny that's been following me around for a while. I'm a sucker for jealousy-fics with a happy ending, and I haven't seen this type yet. :)

Rose chewed on her bottom lip and then downed the remainder of her 34th-century champagne in one fluid motion. Usually she enjoyed parties like this one – lots of different species, strange dance styles, an unbelievable variety of foods, and lots of fun and laughter. Today, however, none of that appealed to her. Instead, her insides felt like stone and her eyes kept coming dangerously close to watering. She felt so very weak and sad, and it made her angry at herself. Angry that she felt the way she did, that she _allowed_ herself to feel the way she did, angry that she wasn’t stronger. Angry because the situation was nothing new, and angry that she’d gotten her hopes up once again despite the fact that crushing them had only been a matter of time, as always.

 

She put her empty glass down on the table behind her, and immediately picked up another full one from a silver tablet that one of the green-skinned waiters carried past her. Rose didn’t drink very often, but tonight she needed it.

 

Her eyes narrowed over the rim of the glass as she continued to watch the reason for her unhappiness. She probably should just move away and focus on something else as she’d usually do in these types of situations, but tonight, her eyes seemed glued to the scene in front of her.

 

Maybe it was the fact that Sepa looked so much like her, with her long blonde hair and brown eyes. Or the fact that Sepa was wearing an outfit that was made entirely of leather and left very little to the imagination. Rose snorted. Sepa had mentioned that afternoon that this outfit was required for her to wear to mark her station as a warrior princess, but Rose doubted that it would offer any protection in an actual fight.

 

Which didn’t change the fact that Sepa was ridiculously toned and fit. Also a possible reason why Rose just couldn’t tear her eyes away.

 

But ultimately, Rose knew what it was that was different tonight to all the other times when she’d watched the Doctor flirt and charm his way around beings from all over the universe.

 

Sepa was human. Just like Rose.

 

But in Sepa’s case, that didn’t seem to matter. While Rose recalled with perfect clarity that night outside the chippery when the Doctor had explained to her that he couldn’t be with humans due to their short life spans, that same rule didn’t seem to apply for human warrior princesses from the 34th century.

 

Outside the chippery, Rose had understood, truly understood, how the Doctor felt. It didn’t change her love for him, of course, but the thought of the Doctor suffering because he’d lose her was enough reason for her to accept the boundaries he’d set.

 

They still hugged, held hands, and cuddled, though. And since their talk outside the chippery, Rose had not had the slightest of reasons to be jealous (unlike several times before that, but those times didn’t really count anymore).

 

Which made this night only so much worse.

 

Rose pursed her lips and slowly let out a breath as she watched the Doctor tilt his head and move closer to Sepa, clearly to get a better look at her eyes. He steadied himself against the railing next to him, and then gestured up and down Sepa’s body – to compliment her, no doubt.

 

When the Doctor slid one of his hands into Sepa’s, Rose couldn’t take it anymore. She turned on her heels and leant on to the table behind her, desperately trying to control that feeling of getting stabbed into her abdomen. Tears shot into her eyes, and she pressed them shut as she willed them to stop watering with all her might.

 

The sound of someone lightly clearing their throat next to her pulled her out of her thoughts. When Rose opened her eyes, she was faced with the familiar face of one of the community’s female inhabitants, Laca. Rose and the Doctor had helped Laca’s family earlier that day; all of Laca’s children had fallen ill with an unknown virus, and the Doctor had – of course – figured out which virus it was and how to fight it (a nasty flu-like virus from the planet Bolar; berry tea and honey).

 

Laca’s near-black eyes looked hesitant.

 

“Please excuse my disturbance of your evening, Miss Rose,” she started, stuttering slightly as she wrung her hands. “But I have to warn you.”

 

At that, Rose’s earlier feelings faded slightly and were replaced with unease.

 

“Warn me? Of what?” she asked, trying to sound friendly and positive even though she felt like neither.

 

“As you know, I work in the kitchens. The Princess Sepa – she – I mean – she…” Laca’s eyes darted behind Rose before focusing back on her. Laca licked her lips and took a deep breath.

 

“The Princess Sepa has drugged the Timelord’s drink,” she blurted out before hastily covering her mouth with one hand and looking around to see if anyone had heard her. It seemed that no-one had, however.

 

Rose frowned.

 

“What? Why?” she asked with a mixture of disbelief and worry.

 

“The Princess greatly enjoys the company of distinguished men,” Laca whispered as she glanced around them once more.

 

Rose nodded slowly.

 

“O-okay. Thank you for letting me know. I can check with him, but I think he’ll probably be alright. Timelord physiology is much better than ours. They – they notice when something’s wrong, and they can metabolize poisons and drugs if necessary,” she replied, forcing herself into another smile.

 

Laca shook her head.

 

“No, not this one. This one is different. It’s a drug that was made for Timelords, a weapon. I heard the Princess talk about it. Timelords are always controlled and logical, which makes them very difficult to fight. So their enemies developed a drug that broke down that self-control,” Laca replied, her voice barely a whisper. “When they’re exposed to the drug, the Timelords can’t do anything but express all their emotions when they feel them. The drug caused the Timelords great losses because they were too focused on their feelings rather than their battles. The drug caused them to fight amongst themselves.”

 

Rose looked back at the Doctor and Sepa. Why hadn’t she noticed before how the Doctor was swaying unsteadily?

 

She put her glass down and laid a hand on Laca’s lower arm.

 

“Thank you very much for telling me,” she said earnestly.

 

“It is my pleasure. You and the Doctor saved my family, now I have to save you,” Laca replied, bowing her head.

 

Rose nodded and made her way over to the Doctor and Sepa. The stabbing pain in her gut was back in full force when she saw that the Doctor had wrapped one of Sepa’s golden strands of hair around his finger.

 

If the Doctor couldn’t help expressing how he was feeling, it was very clear what he felt in that moment – or rather, how he felt about Sepa.

 

Rose swallowed and moved even closer to the two, mentally already working on some form of excuse to get the Doctor back to the safety of the TARDIS.

 

“… it’s too light. Should be darker. No, not darker. Goldener. Yes, goldener,” she heard the Doctor say. He sounded as if he were drunk. Probably the drug.

 

To Rose’s surprise, Sepa did not look like she was enjoying the Doctor’s attention at all. She’d raised an eyebrow and stared at the Doctor with obvious annoyance.

 

“You look angry,” the Doctor observed, pushing his face so close to Sepa’s that they seemed separated by merely an inch. In response, Sepa took a step back, and the Doctor let go of her hair.

 

“She’s angry, too, sometimes. She always gets angry when some meanies treat others unfairly. She’s just so _good_ ,” the Doctor sighed as he closed his eyes.

 

“And she’s here,” Sepa replied with a mixture of relief and contempt as she spied Rose next to them.

 

The Doctor's eyes burst open again and his head whisked around.

 

“Rose? Rose! You’re here!” he hollered. Before Rose could react, he’d thrown his arms around her waist and lifted her off the ground.

 

“I’m so happy to see you. Always happy to see you,” he said with a smile that seemed to light up the entire room.

 

Rose wasn’t quite sure what to make of the situation, so she decided to play along.

 

“And I’m always happy to see you,” she replied, unable to stop herself from smiling genuinely at him. Her response only caused his grin to spread even wider.

 

The Doctor let go of her and slipped his hand into hers. Rose turned to the Princess.

 

“Did you drug him?” she asked, her voice like steel.

 

Sepa just raised one eyebrow and looked the Doctor up and down with a disdainful glance.

 

“I did,” she replied simply. “Clearly not much use there.”

 

Rose was just trying to sort through her angry thoughts for a witty and cutting reply when she felt the Doctor tug at her hand.

 

“Rooose, let’s go home. Please?” she heard him whine.

 

Rose stared Sepa down, but another tug at her hand let her focus on what was most important – getting the Doctor to the safety of the TARDIS and its medbay.

 

“We're not finished yet,” she spat at Sepa before pulling the Doctor along with her. They’d parked the TARDIS in the gardens of the palace in which their current party was held, and soon, Rose and the Doctor were walking hand-in-hand down a tree-lined path.

 

The Doctor sighed.

 

“So beautiful,” he near-yelled as he looked around him.

 

Rose nodded. “Yeah,” she breathed and shot a small smile towards him.

 

It truly was beautiful. The planet’s three moons hung in the sky, basked in a rose-colored hue, and the green and blue vegetation around them was full of colorful flowers that sent a sweet scent into the air.

 

“Not as beautiful as you, though, Rose Tyler,” the Doctor continued with a happy expression. He stopped and pulled her to face him.

 

“You’re more beautiful than anything else in this universe,” he said as his joyous expression bore into Rose’s confused face. “And I should know because I have seen more things than anyone else.” The Doctor paused. “I told Sepa that.”

 

“What? That you’ve seen more things than anyone else?” Rose asked, her heart beating wildly. The Doctor was obviously not thinking clearly; he’d never say something that would so clearly endanger the precarious boundary he’d established between them.

 

“Nooo, that you’re the most beautiful thing in the entire universe. Well, not thing. Being. You know what I mean,” the Doctor replied, tugging at his ear with his free hand.

 

Rose wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that, so she just turned to continue walking. She really needed to get the Doctor to the TARDIS’s medbay and fast. She already knew that he’d be mortified of his behavior once the drug had left his system, so she had to stop him from saying anything else that he wouldn’t otherwise as soon as possible.

 

“Don’t think she liked me saying that,” the Doctor muttered as he followed Rose along. “Not my problem, though. Kept trying to touch me even though I told her that I love only you. Want no-one else. So I told her that the only way she could have me would be if she were you.”

 

Rose resisted the urge to cover her ears and instead resorted to walking faster. Every single one of the Doctor’s words stung. Earlier that night, she’d been close to tears from jealousy, but learning that her jealousy was unjustified was even worse when the two of them couldn’t even act on their feelings.

 

The Doctor continued to ramble behind her.

 

“She said that she looked like you, and asked if that wasn’t close enough.” He snorted. “That was – rude.” He paused shortly. “Just because she’s blonde! You’re not just blonde, Rose! And since she tried to measure up to you, I explained to her how she’d have to change if she wanted to be you. Her eyes would have to be more chocolaty. And she’d have to smile more. And she’d have to be kinder and compassionate. And her hands would have to be softer. And her hair would have to be goldener…”

 

Rose, who’d just spied the TARDIS about 30 feet ahead of them, stopped in her tracks at his last sentences. So that was the part of the conversation that she’d caught between Sepa and the Doctor. Rose didn’t know if she should laugh or cry – laugh at the fact that Sepa went so far as to drug the Doctor to get him into bed, only to be compared against another woman the entire night, or cry at the fact that nothing of what the Doctor was saying ultimately mattered.

 

The Doctor took the opportunity of Rose’s pause to plant himself in front of her. He raised his free hand to stroke along Rose’s jawline with his index finger, and his lips moved dangerously close to hers.

 

“I told her all the things I love about you,” he half-whispered, his dark eyes focused entirely on her. He took another step closer and wrapped his arm around Rose, pressing his check against the top of her head.

 

“Your laugh. Your kindness. Your determination. Your eyes. Your face. Your smile. Your smell. Your lips. Your hair. Your bum. Your _hands_ ,” the Doctor sighed as lips brushed across the crown of her head.

 

Rose stood rigid as a rock. She couldn’t even begin to count the times that she’d imagined, wished that the Doctor would hold her like that, talk to her like that. After the chippery, she’d resigned herself to the fact that that would never happen. Standing here with him nearly tore her apart. It wasn’t real, but it also wasn’t one of her dreams. She knew that she’d never be able to forget the movement of the Doctor’s lips against her hair, the way his body molded into hers, the slight pressure of his embrace, and how he tried to pull her even closer than she already was, his breath against her neck.

 

Suddenly, the Doctor drew his head back but left their bodies firmly intertwined. He let go of Rose’s hand and gently lifted her chin instead.

 

“I really, really want to kiss you,” he whispered earnestly, his eyes wide.

 

Rose’s heart ached painfully at that. She wanted nothing more than to give into the urge to press her lips against the Doctor’s, and it took all her willpower to remind herself that this wasn’t _him_ , that he wouldn’t do this normally, and that he’d regret all of his actions once he was sober again.

 

“You’re not thinking straight,” Rose replied gently as she slowly extricated herself from his arms. “You were drugged. Some kind of special-Timelord-drug. Makes you lose your inhibitions, and makes you say things you wouldn’t usually say.”

 

The Doctor seemed to consider that for a moment.

 

“Maybe,” he conceded. “But I like it!” he stated with a goofy grin.

 

Rose grabbed his hand once again.

 

“Come on, the TARDIS is right there. She’ll be able to help with all of this,” she said as she pulled the Doctor towards the blue box.

 

The Doctor let himself be led all the way to the TARDIS’ medbay.

 

Rose turned to him.

 

“Is there anyway to scan for the drug in your system?” she asked, her eyes searching the room.

 

The Doctor moved closer to hear and cupped her face with one of his hands.

 

“The TARDIS already did. Says I’ll have to sleep it off and drink lots of water. Should take about six hours,” he murmured. “May I kiss you now?” he asked with a begging look in his shining eyes.

 

The TARDIS' soft whisper in the back of Rose’s mind confirmed the Doctor's words.

 

“Well, you heard the TARDIS,” Rose countered as she slid from the Doctor's grasp. “Off to bed with you.”

 

The disappointment on the Doctor’s face nearly broke Rose’s resolve and she balled one of her hands into a fist to focus. It didn't help that the Doctor looked like a kicked puppy.

 

“Only if you come with me,” he replied and stretched out his hand.

 

“Just to tuck you in,” Rose replied as she covered his hand in hers. The Doctor’s bedroom door had appeared right opposite the medbay, and when they entered, there was already a bottle of water sitting on the bedside table.

 

“Don’t wanna go to bed,” the Doctor complained as they stood in the middle of his room.

 

“Not up for debate. Come on, put on your pyjamas,” Rose said as she turned around to give him some privacy. After a few seconds, she could hear the rustling of clothes behind her, and she busied herself looking around the room with its large bookshelves, desk full of gadgets in varying stages of assembly, and the stellar constellations projected on the ceiling. She counted to fifty and was just about to turn back when she suddenly felt two arms wrap around her from behind.

 

“Can I kiss you now?” the Doctor asked. His lips brushed against the back of her neck, and hot shivers ran down Rose’s back.

 

Rose took a deep breath and sighed inwardly.

 

“Bedtime,” she said hoarsely, pulling his arms off her and pushing him towards the bed.

 

The Doctor followed her quietly and settled into the bed. Rose sat down on the edge next to him and handed him the water bottle from the bedside table.

 

“Don’t you want to kiss me?” the Doctor asked dejectedly while his fingers played with the lid of the bottle and his gaze avoided hers.

 

Rose’s heart broke at his sad tone and she decided to be honest about her feelings, too.

 

“I do want to kiss you. Very much. But this isn’t you. You would never ask me to kiss you if you if it weren’t for the drug,” she replied softly. "Remember what you said outside that chippery?"

 

The Doctor huffed and his eyes remained focused on the bottle in his hands.

 

"Biggest mistake of my life," he muttered. Rose's heart skipped a beat, and she caught one of his hands in hers.

 

"You made a very good point that day, though. You can't spend your life with me. And I could never, ever do anything that will hurt you and make you suffer."

 

"Some things are worth the pain," the Doctor replied simply and earnestly. He lifted his eyes back to Rose. Their vulnerable and almost desperate expression once again left her struggling to resist the urge to push caution to the wind and snog the Doctor senseless.

 

"Thought I could stop myself from falling in love with you," the Doctor continued under his breath. "Stupid. Was already in love with you in that basement in Cardiff. Can't go back now."

 

Rose couldn't stop her heart from leaping hopefully, but she forced herself to keep her voice level. She squeezed his hand and smiled softly at him.

 

"Tell you what: You sleep off the drug, and if you still think the way you do now when it's gone, you can kiss me," she offered. She took the bottle from his hand, opened it, and offered it to him.

 

The Doctor still looked pensive and returned his gaze to his hands. Ultimately he nodded, however, and accepted the bottle to take a few large gulps.

 

When he was done, Rose placed the bottle back on to the bedside table and pulled the blanket further up the Doctor's chest. The Doctor reached for one of her hands again.

 

"Stay," he asked quietly and Rose simply couldn't ignore the pleading look in his eyes, so she smiled yet again.

 

" 'right. Scoot over," she commanded, already toeing off the slippers she was wearing. The Doctor did as he was told, and Rose was grateful that the dress she'd worn to the party at the palace was rather simple and made of cotton so it wouldn't be too uncomfortable to sleep in.

 

She settled on her back next to the Doctor while he lay on his side facing her, one arm folded underneath his head and the other resting on Rose's stomach, their fingers intertwined. The lights dimmed, and Rose closed her eyes with a sigh.

 

"Night night," she murmured, trying to ignore the Doctor's proximity and the fact that she could feel his breath against the left side of her face.

 

A few second ticked by without a response from the Doctor, and so Rose thought that he must have fallen asleep, when she suddenly felt the Doctor's lips against her temple, followed by a nuzzle.

 

"Night night," the Doctor responded with a content sigh, before whispering "You taste really good, too," more to himself than to her.

 

Rose remained motionless as his breathing deepened, a tell-tale sign that he had fallen asleep, but inside of her, a storm was raging.

 

The skin where the Doctor had kissed her felt like fire, and all her senses narrowed in on the memory of the kiss, replaying it with every detail - the coolness of his lips, their softness, the gentle pressure, and the grazing of his breath against her brow. Rose could feel her cheeks grow hot, and she had no idea how she was supposed to find any sleep tonight - or ever again, for that matter.

 

She hoped with every fiber of her being that the night's events wouldn't hurt her relationship with the Doctor, whatever it was that they had. After everything the Doctor had told her that night, she simply couldn't just ignore his words and move on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after surprises Rose just as much as the night before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your sweet comments! I was all giddy when I checked my e-mail today! :) So here's the next morning for you! :)

When Rose woke the next morning, the first thing she noticed was the different smell - the Doctor’s scent seemed to surround her. With her eyes still closed, Rose tried to groggily remember where she was – it didn’t feel like she was in her own bed – and why she was there. Slowly, her memory of the previous evening returned. The Doctor. The drug. His – “emotional honesty”. Right. That also explained the nervous baseline she felt from the moment she’d woken up. She should probably start to steel herself against the Doctor’s typical “nothing important happened” ramblings. Despite of what he’d said the night before, past experience had taught her that now that the Doctor was back to normal, so would be the boundaries he’d set for them.

Rose slowly opened one eye. The lights were rather bright, she was still lying on her back, and it seemed that the Doctor’s hand and hers were still linked. The latter surprised her. She was sure that she’d slept more than the six hours the Doctor needed, and she’d almost been certain that he’d use the opportunity to leave before she woke up to put some distance between them. Rose opened the other eye as well and then rolled her head to look at the Doctor. He hadn’t moved from his position either and lay still on his side, eyes trained on her.

“Hello,” Rose whispered, clearing her throat lightly.

“Hello,” the Doctor replied quietly. He seemed hesitant, but against Rose’s expectation, his expression wasn’t flippant. Instead, he seemed serious and almost hopeful.

“How are you feeling?” Rose asked.

“Good. Drug’s all gone,” the Doctor replied, his voice still low. “Superior physiology and all that,” he joked, but the mirth didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Thank you for taking care of me,” he added with an inscrutable expression.

“Welcome. Couldn’t just leave you in the clutches of a warrior princess, now, could I?” Rose tried to joke, but the Doctor didn’t react and a few seconds of silence settled over them. Rose searched the Doctor’s face for any hint as to what he was thinking.

“I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable last night,” he said finally.

Rose blinked. She certainly wouldn’t have expected such a direct address of what happened.

“You didn’t… I – I wasn’t uncomfortable, just…” Her voice trailed off as she was searching for what to say. She certainly hadn’t been uncomfortable; sad would have been the better expression. Suddenly, she became aware of the Doctor’s thumb grazing the back of her hand in slow, steady motions. Since when had he been doing that? Her eyes darted quickly to their joined hands and then back up to the Doctor’s face. His determined gaze bore into her, and Rose had to swallow at its intensity.

“I meant every word I said,” he stated in a firm voice, eyes wide.

Rose blinked again and her breath hitched. She must have misheard.

“Wha’?” she replied breathlessly. He couldn’t be serious. Maybe the drug was still in his system.

“You sure the drug’s all gone?” she asked, her voice a pitch higher than she intended. The TARDIS’s whisper at the back of her head answered in the positive before Rose had even finished the question.

“Absolutely,” the Doctor replied earnestly. He swallowed and took a deep breath.

“I – I know what I said outside the chippery. And while our circumstances haven’t changed, I have. I was just too coward to admit that - um… No matter what I – stupidly, mind you – decided back then, the truth is that … that I can’t stop this. I can’t fight it. Whatever we do or don’t do, whatever we are or aren’t, I’m already in way over my head. We were long down the road when I still believed I could refuse to drive.”

Rose stared at the Doctor with wide eyes and only hoped that she actually heard what he seemed to be saying.

The Doctor swallowed again, and nervousness flittered across his expression.

“Rose Tyler, I –“ he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he once again fixed her with a determined look. “I love you,” he finished with a firm voice. “I want you to know that. And whatever time we can have together, I want to have together.”

Rose couldn’t stop the smile spreading across her face. Her stomach seemed to be doing somersaults and her heart was beating so wildly she thought it must jump out of her chest any minute.

“I love you, too, Doctor,” she replied calmly. At that, the Doctor broke into a wide, relieved grin.

“Quite right, too,” he responded and scooted a bit closer as he laced his fingers tighter through hers. Rose responded by turning fully towards him, mirroring his position with one arm folded underneath her head. Their faces were only inches apart.

“So...,” the Doctor began, and if Rose was not mistaken, a faint hue of pink spread across his cheeks.

“So…?” she repeated questioningly, her lips still carrying a small smile.

The Doctor put on a nonchalant expression, but the slight tremble of his hand in Rose’s gave him away. Rose squeezed his hand in hers to soothe him. Having witnessed the Doctor keeping everyone at arm’s length as long as she knew him, she could tell that it took him a lot to be so honest and open with her, and she loved him all the more for making the effort.

“While my memories of last night are a bit hazy, I do recall you saying that I could kiss you if I still thought the way today that I did yesterday,” he said mischievously, but his wide eyes shone with worry – worry that he’d somehow gone too far, Rose mused. She decided to squash any such notion as quickly as possible, so she smiled widely and let her tongue peek through the side of her mouth.

“I did say that,” she replied playfully. “And I meant it.”

The Doctor’s smile became giddy. He let go of their intertwined hands and let his slowly travel upwards along her arm until he finally gently grazed her cheekbone with his knuckles. Rose closed her eyes and reveled in the sensation of the Doctor’s cool hands against her cheek. Her senses seemed to be in overdrive, and she still couldn’t quite believe that all of this was actually happening.  

“How long are you going to stay with me?” she heard the Doctor ask gleefully.

Rose smiled, her eyes still closed.

“Forever,” she replied as the Doctor’s cool lips met hers.


End file.
